If you live in a safe (in relation to other nearby places) neighborhood within a village very populated with shops, restruants, schools, etc. At what age is it okay for a child (who’s lived in neighboring towns their entire life) to wander on their own? To walk one block to the pizza place or grocery store?2 blocks to the beach? 3 blocks to yourgurt land? etc?
We’re moving back to my orginal neighborhood and my niece is already itching to spread her wings. She’s 13..I have a toddler, so parenting a teen is new to me still…
lol just saw my spelling, sorry all!
I understand Silly, same here. Some areas are significantly better than others though ;p
You’re going to have to figure that out between the two of you (and any other adults involved in her life). At her age, I’d start out by talking to her about your responsibility to her as an adult, to make sure that she knows how to be safe, polite & healthy before she’s an adult herself. So, you (and the other adults in her life) have been teaching her to make good decisions since she was born.
If she thinks she’s ready for some freedom (and you are relatively confident that she can be safe with it), then let her have some. But, make sure that it’s clear to her that, if she shows that she is not yet able to make safe, healthy & polite decisions, you will have to step in, as a responsible adult & put limits on her freedom until she can learn how to do it properly.
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:22 am
Luckily I live in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors, so my son will be completely free to roam where he pleases. Now if I visit my parents in Dallas, even though they live in a safe neighborhood, no way in hell will I let him out of my sight until he is at least 12. Too many freaks in urban areas.
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March 3rd, 2010 at 5:40 am
i did not allow my oldest to do anything without adults until he reached the age of 14 (highschool).
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March 3rd, 2010 at 5:51 am
The closest gas station and restaurant are about 1/2 mile down the road from our house. We’ve let our oldest (he’s
walk or ride his bike there as long as he was with an older friend or cousin (around 11 or 12 years old).
Honestly, our town (if you even want to call it a town) is so small that we really don’t have to worry about much. Everyone knows everyone, so even if there was a suspicious person that my kids felt was a threat they would have plenty of people to go to if my husband and I weren’t around.
Growing up, my parents let me walk to the grocery store (about 12 blocks away) with my friends when I was around 7 or 8 years old. Nothing bad ever happened to us. Mind you we even lived in a town of about 80,000 people and didn’t live in the safest part of town. Still, we were never approached by anyone but even if we were we would’ve known what to do.
You can’t keep kids locked up. They’ll never learn street smarts and they’ll end up fearing the world.
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March 3rd, 2010 at 6:27 am
I live in a rural Canadian town of 2,000, in the centre of it near the general store and restaurants and so on. I see little gaggles of unsupervised, roaming children and I think the youngest in these groups are 7 or so. I may see six-year-olds walking a few short, and not across the main road, blocks home alone from the school. I suspect they are more around 9 or 10 when they start regularly going out without a friend to buy candy or whatnot.
This all seems reasonable to me, for this area…
I would not place any restrictions on roaming for a 13yo. Buy her a bus pass, give her a reasonable curfew, keep the ringer on the phone on, done.
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March 3rd, 2010 at 6:50 am
No place is "safe".
There is no enforceable law that prevents a sexual predator or a murderer or a drug dealer from coming and visiting affluent communities.
In my opinion "children" shouldn’t be unattended. Period.
Going to lunch together and letting her go into a shop on her own next door is one thing.
Letting her take off on her own while you’re at home preoccupied with a toddler…is another.
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Admitted helicopter parent.
Then again…I live in Los Angeles…so maybe I’m traumatized.
March 3rd, 2010 at 7:37 am
A 13 year old could most definitely do ALL those things. (Assuming, of course, that she’s a reasonably sensible and responsible adolescent.)
My daughter was walking to the bus stop alone at 6, to her cousin’s house about 2 blocks away at 7 or 8, and home from afterschool activities on days that I couldn’t pick her up (1 1/2 miles) at 14.
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March 3rd, 2010 at 7:49 am
Call me crazy, but I probably won’t ever let my kids roam around alone..maybe when they’re like 16 if ever.
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March 3rd, 2010 at 8:39 am
You’re going to have to figure that out between the two of you (and any other adults involved in her life). At her age, I’d start out by talking to her about your responsibility to her as an adult, to make sure that she knows how to be safe, polite & healthy before she’s an adult herself. So, you (and the other adults in her life) have been teaching her to make good decisions since she was born.
If she thinks she’s ready for some freedom (and you are relatively confident that she can be safe with it), then let her have some. But, make sure that it’s clear to her that, if she shows that she is not yet able to make safe, healthy & polite decisions, you will have to step in, as a responsible adult & put limits on her freedom until she can learn how to do it properly.
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March 3rd, 2010 at 9:02 am
She is 13. Give her a curfew to be back by and let her go. Most teens leave with no plans, they just wind up at the pizza place or the beach. I would say all those places you asked are fine for her to go to. Just educate her about not getting into cars with strangers, or going places with people she does not know, and not to accept rides from people. Tell her if she needs a ride, she can call you and you will pick her up, then do not yell at her when she calls and states she is in an odd place.
You can ask her where she will most likely be if you need to get ahold of her, and make sure you know her friends, and keep your house accessible to her friends. Meaning make them feel welcome, even if you do not like them. If they feel comfortable at your house, they are more likely to hang out there, and then you do not have to worry about where you kid is and what she is doing.
Basically, give her some trust. Tell her to call you if she is going to be late, or she is going to change her original plans from where she says she is going.
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March 3rd, 2010 at 9:14 am
I can’t remember far enough back to recall a time I wasn’t allowed to roam within the confines of my neighborhood as a child. I know I could got to the park that was 4 blocks away when I was around 7 or 8. Hell, I walked 6 blocks to school with friends starting in 2nd grade, and could go to garage sale all over town when I was in 6th. And I grew up in a pretty decent-size city.
But then, I also rarely went anywhere on my own… I was usually with two or three friends.
I was not permitted to go to the lake (more of a pond, really…) alone until I was 15 (that was more of a water safety issue, though) and I couldn’t go beyond the railroad tracks that were about 2 miles north of my house (not that there was much of anything interesting for a kid up that way anyhow… LOL).
I honestly don’t believe the world is that much more dangerous these days… I think we just hear more about the bad things that happen than we have at any other point in history because information is now updated continuously 24/7 and force-fed to us by the TV, the newspapers, and the internet.
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March 3rd, 2010 at 9:48 am
I was about 11 when I was able to.
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